COWETA -- At roughly 5 feet 7 inches tall and 155 pounds, Marine Sgt. James Randolph Graham III didn't sport a large chassis, friends say. But his engine was always revved.

"That dude had a lot of testosterone," said Kristi Allen, whose husband, Spencer Allen, was the best man at Graham's wedding. "You could double-dog dare him and you could be sure he would do it. No fear. That was his motto."

Spencer Allen said Graham's decision to join the military suited his character. "He knew in the Marines it was going to be go, go, go," he said. "That's just the kind of person he was."

Best known as "J," Graham was killed Monday by a suicide car bomber during a combat operation near Hit, Iraq, a small town northwest of Ramadi in Al Anbar province, the military reported. He was 25.

Graham was in the Anti-Tank Training Company in Broken Arrow and an operator of TOW missiles - hand-held tube-launched rockets - in the Weapons Company, 3rd Battalion, 25th Marine Regiment, 2nd Marine Division.

Maj. Michael Sims, an inspector-instructor at the Marine Reserve Anti-Tank Unit, said Graham was mobilized in January, training at Twentynine Palms, CA, and then sent to Iraq a month later.

Kristi Allen said Graham, who played football and baseball at Hale High School in Tulsa and later coached a youth baseball team, "was the light of his mother's life."

"He was supposed to come back. And he was mean; he should have come back. We told him to run."

Spencer Allen and Graham served as the best man at each other's wedding. The families celebrated New Year's Eves together, and the Allens even threw a going-away party when Graham went to war.

Graham and his buddies Spencer Allen, Jeremy Decker and Nathan Martin were all members of the same Boy Scout troop. They all achieved the rank of Eagle Scout and stayed in touch as they ventured into adulthood.

"He was always respectful," said Allen Martin, an adult leader in the troop and the brother of Nathan Martin. "You told him to do something and you knew he did not want to do it, but he said, 'Yes, sir,' and he did it.  "He was a good leader. He could motivate the kids to follow his leadership."

Nathan Martin had muscular dystrophy and had to use a wheelchair.  "You didn't mess with my brother; J would not stand for it," Allen Martin said. "He was extremely protective of my brother."

The Martins' mother, Mary Martin, said Graham and the remaining flock of Eagle Scouts were pallbearers at Nathan Martin's funeral a couple of years ago. He was 24.

"I'm sure when J went to heaven, Nathan was there to greet him," Mary Martin said. "Now he's taking care of J.

J. wasn't large in stature but he was a gentle giant.

"There's no hurt in the world like the hurt of losing a child," she said. "Now we've lost another one. It's just terrible."

Spencer Allen said Graham and Melissa Bratton married while in high school.  The couple, who have sons ages 9 and 6, would have celebrated their eighth wedding anniversary next month.

Allen Martin remembered running into Graham at a Tulsa convenience store the day the United States began bombing in Iraq.  "He said, 'I want to be over there so bad I can't stand it,' " he recalled Graham as saying.

"He told me: 'This is what my Marine Corps training has been for. It's been preparing me for this. And now it's going on and I'm in Tulsa. I want to be over there.' "

Services for Graham will be held August 13 at the Floral Haven Chapel in Broken Arrow.

Donations can be sent to the James Graham Memorial Fund, First National Bank of Coweta, PO Box 600, Coweta, OK 74429, or to Melissa Graham for the benefit of J. Graham, Spirit Bank, 9618 S Memorial Dr, Tulsa, OK 74133.